Sunday, December 19, 2010

Um, I'm sorry, WHAT?

That would be my reaction to finding out I'm pregnant. Actually, that WAS my reaction, sometime in mid-October. And that is the reason this blog has not been updated for such a long time. I just knew I couldn't write it without talking about this new development, and we were not ready to share those particular news with the blogosphere. But now, when I'm well (ok, a week) into the second trimester, I think it's time.
So, around the beginning of October I was getting really tired. Like, in bed by 9pm tired (that's really early for me, considering Adam only goes to bed at 7:30, and then there's the adult dinner making and eating etc.). My husband said, well, you're back at work, you have a lot going on, it makes sense. So I assumed that was the case. I was also really hungry, but I thought it was due to the fact that I've been trying to cut back on my portions (still has some baby-weight left...). But then, I was pretty sure my period was late, and I started smelling things I usually don't. So I thought, I'll just get a kit when I'm the store, and just pee on the stick to get some peace of mind. Saturday night I finally remember the kit I bought a few days ago and I tell my husband I'll do the test in the morning. He goes to sleep pretty late typically (working until 2am, which is something I gave up on understanding), so he emails me, jokingly, wake me up if you're pregnant. With a smiley face. 5am I wake up for some unknown reason (Adam probably made some noises, he talks in his sleep), and I really need to pee. So I groggily take out the test, and try to aim at the stick. A minute later, I'm WIDE awake. Freaking two stripes. Two stripes?? But that's a positive. What the...??
So I go wake up my husband. He asked, after all. We spend an hour talking about this, and come out with the decision that, well, since we were planning on two anyway, and it's really just a year or so early, it's not worth taking dramatic measures (that is, to terminate the pregnancy. Sorry if I'm offending anyone, but it was an option at that point). So, I get up to take care of Adam, who woke up at 6, as per usual, with this in my head.
It's been a roller coster, that's for sure. I wasn't planning on this. It took me completely by surprise. I'm going to have 2 kids under 2 in the house in a bit less than 6 months. Also, it's not going to be THIS house. Our condo is just too small for everyone, so we bought a new place - three bedroom old house, in a neighborhood that is close to the center but family-oriented. We're beginning to settle down... :) The new house is 15 minutes walk from the university, so that's a big plus for me. Adam will still be going to daycare, and I'm having my parents, then my mother-in-law, then my sister to come stay with us and help out. I'm finding out about all sorts of people I know who are pregnant and have around the same schedule as we do, so that will be lots of fun.
I'm so NOT a stay at home mom. And yet, I'm going to stay home next year, and take care of another baby. Didn't see that one coming, let me tell you that. On the other hand, I'm starting to get used to the idea of another year at home. First few months I'll have help, and this time I've learned my lesson and baby and I are going to ALL the activities this city has to offer. Strollercise, baby salsa, baby time at the library, mom and baby coffee, we'll be out of the house most of the day, really. At least, that's my plan. We'll see what happens.
Mean while, between buying a new house, selling our condo, baking for Christmas (even though we're JEWISH), and the final exams I have to mark, this has been a crazy week. Apparently, the universe (or something) likes keeping me on my toes. So be it. I say, bring it on.

Saturday, November 6, 2010

A hard week

This was one of the hardest weeks I had ever. I hate complaining publicly (I do my melt downs at night, with only hubby there), but this one really was. My husband was swamped with work (not that it will change next week...), Adam had a fever and had to be home from daycare, and I was not feeling so great myself (not that it will change next week...). On weeks like these, I strongly reflect the benefits of going back home, finding a dead-end job that doesn't require any real brain power (or dealing with people), and using grandparents' services profusely. I know I won't be happy if I do that, so I stay. But it sure is tempting.

Monday, October 25, 2010

Happy first birthday, baby Adam!

My baby turned 1 last week. Between running down to get balloons and making cake for all our guests (two birthday parties!), I had some time to reflect. My baby boy is healthy, and well developing. He's eating well, sleeping well, and all in all a nice kid (TOUCH WOOD!!). We're starting to build a routine. OK, it doesn't always hold. For instance, no afternoon nap in daycare today, which means he's asleep now, instead of getting some mommy time. And my workload is now a bit decreased, as the grant applications are all done (woohoo!) and so is the (first) midterm marking. I'm going to have a committee meeting soon, in which we'll discuss my ideas and plans, and then (hopefully) it's off with Study 1 of my PhD thesis! Very exciting.
But, can our lives be, just for once, routine and boring? Nope. We have started looking for a house, because our lovely place is, sadly, just too small for us. We're planning on staying within the city, but we'll probably have to get a bit further away from main traffic channels, which for me is a bit of a downer. I love the area we've been living in, mostly because it's so diverse. Complete with coffee shops, bars, restaurants (Asian and otherwise), random little stores, and the incredible diversity of people - from chic professionals (who probably have a skeleton in their closet, more likely than not) to charming homeless people, and everyone in between. But I digress. More on our never-boring lives to come, when I have some time :)

Thursday, September 16, 2010

Welcome to the juggler

Back to school, eh? What if the person who goes back to school in the family is not the kid, but mommy?

I started back in my PhD program after Labour Day. It's been chaotic, insane, horrible, and incredibly fun, all the same time. It's been chaotic because I need to coordinate now my work as a teaching assistant, my work in the lab with my supervisor, my work on my PhD, my work on my grant application, and my role as a mom/house keeper. It's been insane because the amount of work, when you add it all up, comes to about 28 hours per day. It's been horrible because I see Adam between 6 and 7:30am and between 5 and 6pm, and weekends. That is, the weekends in which I'm not working on my grant application. And it's been incredibly fun because I LOVE LOVE LOVE what I do. All of it. The mailing from students who don't understand why I can't take notes for them in class (you have to BE in class!), and the fiddling with pictures of frogs and rainbows for the next task we give preschoolers, and reading articles with unnecessarily complex statistical analyses, and figuring out how to write a very complex project in one page with simple sentences, and picking Adam up from daycare and schlepping with him on the bus all the way back, and playing with him in the afternoon, and making dinner while he plays with daddy, and doing two loads of laundry after Adam is in bed and we had our dinner.

But sometimes I feel like I can't do it. There's just not enough time in the day for these two incredibly important things - my job and my family. And I can't give either of them up and be happy. So I just walk faster, and focus better, and try harder. It balances out eventually, right?

Friday, July 30, 2010

Drugs or daycare?

Scary mommy, whose blog I follow religiously, was interviewed for a piece on CNN about parents who give drugs to their kids to keep them quiet or help them sleep, so that mommy could get some "me" time. Her comments were taken out of context as only reporters can, but all in all, what the stay-at-home moms say is that sometimes you give your kids over-the-counter drugs they don't need for a medical reason, because being with the kids all day is very hard.
Now, I completely agree with that. I agree that raising kids is a hard task, and being home with your kid all day is something I honestly don't understand how people do. I would (and have) go crazy. But what I don't understand is this: those moms STAY AT HOME. And when I say that I can't be with a baby all day, even if he's MY baby, and is, undoubtedly, the cutest baby EVER, they say that I just don't understand. That babies need their mom to be with them all day, every day.
So I ask: what's worse, drugging your kids to get some time off, or dumping them at daycare for half a day so you can get some time off?

Random thought

I was at the campus library the other day. After reading a fuckload of articles in the last few weeks, I've finally cracked and sat at a word processor to write up some thoughts and get started on my document. I wrote down notes like what was my question, and how do I want to answer it. When the word asked me how to name the file, I called it "How to make my life easier". I was not in the greatest mood that day.

Now I have a file called "How to make my life easier" on the computer. Wouldn't it be hilarious and very fitting if I couldn't open it?

Sunday, July 11, 2010

Adam's love of books

The thing that fills me with immense happiness: Adam crawling over to the coffee table, takes out a book (ok, takes out ALL the books, scatters them on the floor, and picks one), sits up, puts the book in his lap, and starts flipping the pages. At 8.5 months. Definitely my kid :)